targe of this year

blessing of the last year and blessing of this year

Last year was so struggle for me and it also a blessing for me, why do i say that. beacause last year God have been with me, and teach me to over come and drawing closer to God.
now i think of it back what is the thing i done, discourge alone reject, and God have been with me throught this time.
i can heard what the holy spirit told me and what God show me the blessing of last year.

the one this that God spoke to my heart is I need to climbing up the mountain the holy spirit told me these you need to put on the belt and climb up the moutain that means i need to have faith and act what God has say.

before i say what is my goal for this year, i want to say blessed new year. may great joy and blessing be upon you.
my goal for this year is to encourage the youth to draw close to God, and i fel that i should encourage all the youth church because of something bad happen.

i which to hold the broken heart,heal the pain ,and encourage those who are discourage. i pray that God will move through my life with blessing to others, because i fel many people are rejected, discourage, pain, and alot of hater, i pray that God will strenght me with the word of God , so that i will bless other with the word of God.

hope to see you all soon.

p.s kent your prayer warrior haha

Thursday, September 22, 2011

healing relationship with my dad

when i was 18 year old, God bring me to youth camp call yldp. i really don't know what God is doing in that camp but i feel that something good is going to happen, the camp was 4 days 3 night and God bring healing to the youth in that camp. 
everybody was touch by it the most hard task that the speaker give it to us is call our family saying to our parent dad i love you thanks for being there for me during the last night of the camp, it was tuft for me at the end i chose to do it by God strength.

after the next day one of the uncle there do altar call, i can't stand at all i need some want to carry me when that uncle come to me i hug that uncle really tie and started to cry out. the word he say to me it was let it go, that make me wanted to cry more. 

when i came back home from that camp, i realize that i haven't forgive my dad for all the past he did to me.  when i started to thing about that i wanted to ask God why do you give me these family, so in 2010 i went to prayer camp and question God why? i really wish that God will answer me, at the end he didn't answer because he know that i got the answer the answer is will you trust me?

i feel very frustrated when God say that, i say trust look what trust have to make me gone through? all the pain, anger, sadness, rejection and loneliness , i say these to my dad i hate these family he just don't understand what i am going through. i don't want to remember my childhood it was so sacredly, and then God spoke to me through one of the pastor from dumc. these is what he say:" ken i saw you in the place of darkness and there is no hope and light, God is saying these to you i am there for you even through you can't feel that i am there i am there.
after awhile God give me peace, when the time i have to go for counselling i don't really wanted to go but at the end i go. the second time i go for the counselling God told me these, while i was going to the train station God say that if you can't see God hand how can't you see he is working in your life. and when i told pastor that she say to me let just put trust in God hand and then God starred to bring healing.

i am still in the healing session, healing with my dad relationship. is not going to be easy, i just ask the pastor there why do i have to face these now? the pastor answer if i don't face these now it going to be with me for the rest of my life, after the prayer that come from that pastor i cry out to God while i was crying i feel God is comforting me. i don't really understand what is God doing but i will trust him.
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