passion for young people

told you the truth i love to have passion on young people run the race of christ to be fire for God, propsheing have been give to me. but why does i can't see the prosheing being fullfill . i realise one thing. is that passion for love is good , too much of passion for love is bad. to have passion to love people is ok, but sometime we have to ask oursefl, how do we love them if we don't love ourself? how do we fullfill the good thing God have spoken to me, where my life is in broken pain hurt , full of guilt? how tell me how?

God spoke to me again and again the passion is not from you, is from me i give you that passion. my desire that God put is to share the love of christ to young people, and to fullfill what God have spoken to me.

but i told God these , look at me what does i have that you look fully upon me? and you trusting me too much that i will fullfill to do your work. slowly God aloud that passion to dry out , i have turn into a worse person.

i have sex with my best friends, and alot of people that are outsider. even though pastor warn me not to go to that i don't listen to her.

after having sex with my best friend the hurt began to grow, and i suffer the bad thing that i did. that guys have sex with me i kept on thing about it everynight and day, lossing my best friend, i ask for his forgiveness but some how he is not willing to forgive me or himself. i am not judging him i love him, and i want him to be fullfilled in God hand.

so i struggle and i struggle i was started to get angry with God , Why does you create me like these? why you allow these temptation and bad stuff come into my life? i want to be a good personwhy does it take so much of struggle to be it?

i find out why, the reason it because i want to please myself not God, i want to be some want like justine bieber to be famous. and God say to me he will never condemend me , he will love me just the way i am because he created me to be like christ, i was not created to be sexual i was created to be human being. i can only be perfect person if christ be in the center of my life. so i put him first in my life and i am slowly changing.

but that does not mean that i don't struggle with that sexual temptation, because i am still a human being i am not pefect. only christ can make me perfect, when i ask for his forgiveness of my wrong doing. because of his forgiveness my life have been change, i am change for sexualy to a child of God. i thank God he name me kent, everytime i fell like giving up he remind me of my name you can over come you can be pure because i make you pure amen to that

slowing i have overcome my sexual changellenge, but the really hard changellenge it just ahead. the really hard changellege is to forgive my dad, i though i have forgive my dad for the way he tread me. but i have not God kept on reminding me to forgive my dad, slowly the memory have been kept silent have been a loud voice in my mind. (that mean i try to forget about my bad life memory when i was a child) God just bring it up, that make me want to say to God these is the last strow, i have giving up on mysefl.

i started to go online to a website that have sex with a webcamp, that means i be naked and do what they ask me to do. i do it with the webcamp infront of me, so they can watch me online with that webcamp . one day it really give me a shock, when i saw a child going to that website, i ask them for they're msn email, and then i ask them to go online on msn messenger, so that we can have sex with each other only. two child give thier email to me one at a time , so we go online on our msn messenger with the webcamp infront of our penis we masterabate.


after doing that i thought to my sefl what have happend to me? i have turn into a worse person, i taught no body will love me anymore. there was once i cry everday, my dad ask me what happend i don't dare to tell him. one day the holy spirit want me to tell to my dad what happend, and i told my dad that i have sex with guys outside. my dad was shock and did not get angry ask me what happend? so i confress everything to him. then he say somthing that hurt me , so i cry and scould my dad one thing i told him is these you may call me a son but you never tread me as a son. my dad reply teaching me how to be a good father, we settle down for a while that time i chose to forgive him for all the wrong thing he has done because God told me to. when i run to him and give him a huge and he say thanks. i will never though that two word will come out from my father mouth, one is teaching me how to be a good father? seconds is thanks for being my son.

so my life was change here and now, with the love of christ amen to that. evertime i ask my sefl can i be a good person, God remind me by my name kent. my name spell k.e.n.t, that mean pure. i can be a pure and good person when God give me strenght becaust the bible say you can do all thing thought christ who give you strenght. that means all thing that are good and God purpose, he will give me strenght and i can do it with him by my side

verse phi 4:13 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204:13&version=NIV
john 15:3-4 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%2015:3-4&version=NIV
go look that verse for yoursefl click the link to look to it