take my life lord

the more i have sex the more it hurt , the more i feel rejected.

emply looking for love.

some time is very easy to fall in love when people say they love you, and next day or fell year latter they will rejecte you because they done using you as a tool for sex.

they fell bored , you fell rejeted .

you looking some want to fall in love with you

tell you the truth noboddy love you

only jesus christ love you just the way you are

lord i give you my life my broken and hated heard

take it lord

passion for young people

told you the truth i love to have passion on young people run the race of christ to be fire for God, propsheing have been give to me. but why does i can't see the prosheing being fullfill . i realise one thing. is that passion for love is good , too much of passion for love is bad. to have passion to love people is ok, but sometime we have to ask oursefl, how do we love them if we don't love ourself? how do we fullfill the good thing God have spoken to me, where my life is in broken pain hurt , full of guilt? how tell me how?

God spoke to me again and again the passion is not from you, is from me i give you that passion. my desire that God put is to share the love of christ to young people, and to fullfill what God have spoken to me.

but i told God these , look at me what does i have that you look fully upon me? and you trusting me too much that i will fullfill to do your work. slowly God aloud that passion to dry out , i have turn into a worse person.

i have sex with my best friends, and alot of people that are outsider. even though pastor warn me not to go to that i don't listen to her.

after having sex with my best friend the hurt began to grow, and i suffer the bad thing that i did. that guys have sex with me i kept on thing about it everynight and day, lossing my best friend, i ask for his forgiveness but some how he is not willing to forgive me or himself. i am not judging him i love him, and i want him to be fullfilled in God hand.

so i struggle and i struggle i was started to get angry with God , Why does you create me like these? why you allow these temptation and bad stuff come into my life? i want to be a good personwhy does it take so much of struggle to be it?

i find out why, the reason it because i want to please myself not God, i want to be some want like justine bieber to be famous. and God say to me he will never condemend me , he will love me just the way i am because he created me to be like christ, i was not created to be sexual i was created to be human being. i can only be perfect person if christ be in the center of my life. so i put him first in my life and i am slowly changing.

but that does not mean that i don't struggle with that sexual temptation, because i am still a human being i am not pefect. only christ can make me perfect, when i ask for his forgiveness of my wrong doing. because of his forgiveness my life have been change, i am change for sexualy to a child of God. i thank God he name me kent, everytime i fell like giving up he remind me of my name you can over come you can be pure because i make you pure amen to that

slowing i have overcome my sexual changellenge, but the really hard changellenge it just ahead. the really hard changellege is to forgive my dad, i though i have forgive my dad for the way he tread me. but i have not God kept on reminding me to forgive my dad, slowly the memory have been kept silent have been a loud voice in my mind. (that mean i try to forget about my bad life memory when i was a child) God just bring it up, that make me want to say to God these is the last strow, i have giving up on mysefl.

i started to go online to a website that have sex with a webcamp, that means i be naked and do what they ask me to do. i do it with the webcamp infront of me, so they can watch me online with that webcamp . one day it really give me a shock, when i saw a child going to that website, i ask them for they're msn email, and then i ask them to go online on msn messenger, so that we can have sex with each other only. two child give thier email to me one at a time , so we go online on our msn messenger with the webcamp infront of our penis we masterabate.


after doing that i thought to my sefl what have happend to me? i have turn into a worse person, i taught no body will love me anymore. there was once i cry everday, my dad ask me what happend i don't dare to tell him. one day the holy spirit want me to tell to my dad what happend, and i told my dad that i have sex with guys outside. my dad was shock and did not get angry ask me what happend? so i confress everything to him. then he say somthing that hurt me , so i cry and scould my dad one thing i told him is these you may call me a son but you never tread me as a son. my dad reply teaching me how to be a good father, we settle down for a while that time i chose to forgive him for all the wrong thing he has done because God told me to. when i run to him and give him a huge and he say thanks. i will never though that two word will come out from my father mouth, one is teaching me how to be a good father? seconds is thanks for being my son.

so my life was change here and now, with the love of christ amen to that. evertime i ask my sefl can i be a good person, God remind me by my name kent. my name spell k.e.n.t, that mean pure. i can be a pure and good person when God give me strenght becaust the bible say you can do all thing thought christ who give you strenght. that means all thing that are good and God purpose, he will give me strenght and i can do it with him by my side

verse phi 4:13 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204:13&version=NIV
john 15:3-4 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%2015:3-4&version=NIV
go look that verse for yoursefl click the link to look to it

God create sex not homosexual

some people they are boy but they act like girl why?
they rejected they own sex, the reason is
1. they don't like to act they're own sex character. example like people always say that boys can't cry but can bleed for some they don't like that so they started to reject they're own sex.

2. it can be people say they look like girl.

3. they need love.

even thought people may say i look like girl, it does mean that i should rejecte your own sex. God create male as male female as male (ge 2:27) .

God create sex not homosexual.
God did not create sex for a tool, sex is a sign that women is my wife or that man is my husband (ge 2:24). people use sex for a tool to have fun that why we have these call homosexual.

homosexual mean a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex, example i am a boy have sex with boy or i am girl i have sex with girl. see homosexual is create by man not God (1 john 2:16),
i have sex with alot of boys, one day i go for counsel, they say that when you have sex with another boys, you soul will miss the sex you have with that boys. even though you are far apart with that boy, you will miss that guy this is call ungodly soultast. soul tast mean your soul is bond together with another sexual parnert with ungody sex, when you meet with that boy you will have sex with him.

ungodly sex is they did not married they have sex, or they have sex with they're own same sexual part. like boy have sex with boy or girl have sex with girl.

there are different kind of sex
1. homosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex, they are top and bottom. top mean that you like to fuck people, bottom mean that you like to be fuck .
2. bisexual mean that they like girl and boy
3.gay is a have relastionship with boys

can we have sex?
yes when you old enoungh and you need to get married the right way (2 tim 2:17), my goul is to find girlfriend the most painful thought is i see people they have girlfriend but i have none. i been pursue all these. one day God change my thought by review me his love and one pastor say if you follow jesus faithfuly God will give a girlfriend , my goul is not pursue girlfriend my goul is to pursue God and his righteosness. from that day i believe that God will give me a girlfriend all i need is to ask him.

lord who can i trust ?
lord where can i hide when the trouble come?
who will save me in the darkers time?
it you lord
so lord i laid down everything
i laid my sexoul part for you
i laid it down lord so strenght me
help me
i don't want to go for sexuol again

lord pls help me give me strenght

God want to huge me
he want to carry me thought all these struggle
lord i life up my life to you
broken and empty
heal me and fill me with your love

lord help me

i am not the only want who are struggle love
i am so broken and i am struggle with friendship
i can't blame other people
i wanted love

lord i don't want it i want your love
i want your greater love
can you give me strenght to overcome
i don't want these lord
i don't want to have relationship with me
or homosexual

pls help

lore what the poing of struggleing of these temptation
what the point of falling and geting back up and fall again
lord is no point at all i am tried of these struggle
i am so tried so tried

lord i am struggle deep down i wanted it
and the bottom of my heart i don't wanted it
i so struggle i am hurting i am struggle

why there is no breakthough
why i am struggle the samething again and again
i am tried lord
i am tried

deep down i wanted to fall in love with men
the bottom of my heart i want to love you
is so struggle so struggle so struggle lord
i hate these temptation


AND I HATED THIS THRESE STRUGGLE
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...............................................

God love me but why does i still want people love
why deos i still seek for wicked love
what am i what am i doing
there is alot of question i want to ask mysefl
i know i don't want
i want to pursue God will
in the middle of the road fall

it hurt so painful.............

God will you still forgive me after what i done i don't derverse your love
i don't derverse what you give me
haiz

but i want to worship with pure heart
but i still have that desire
huh lord i need you
i need your love
i need your hand to resecu me
God oh God
my deliever
................


What am i doing ? that the question i want to ask
What does i want ?????
what can satify me for the rest of my life

well watching the movie call ruby bridges. it remind me about last few year God is teaching. What God teach me? let me tell a little girl in this movie her name is ruby bridege, everybody don't like her becuase she is smarted kid. she was all alone in the school, she can be angry with those who hate her but she did not. instead she pray for them just like she mother ask her too.

it hit me when she did that, she is so humble and God use she to charge other people thought. well this movie it remind me God teach me to humble, i been so struggle and asking God what is the good that you see in me. i fell that God say to me you can't see until you become like these little ones.

there is something good because everyday you thought these failer i am here with you, i am hoding you and change you .

trust him

trust in the lord with all your heart and lead not in your own understand
pro 3:5

well is hard to trust in the lord sometime
beside the lord who can i trust
who can i trun to help
the lord is my helper
and my shelt my refuse
so God is the want i will trust him

humble like a little children

well today was a good experenice for me, becuase God is teaching me something new. well it all start with tell tim that i fell like not doing chapel. And then tim start to challenge me and say don't thing chaple is a small thing, because when you talk about revival it start with young people but how does young people know about God by going to chaple is a bless ministy. the next day i go to church to do the chaple i don't know which song to chose, then God lead me to sing some of the new song and pastor chew mae and seefist sing, well i well so happy even though we have abit of misstake.

After that we play game with the children, well i am so happy becuase all the children are having fun. then i think about jesus say let the little children come to me, well the reason why jesus say that it becuase he want us to be humble, joyful, and obey him.

God want us to that, the reason it becuase he love us he want to be with us. exmple children see they father they will run toward his father with a joyful heart, when the father is displine his child he want the children to obey. And the father told him this is wrong the children will be innerse and ask forgiveness from his father.

God want that God want us to be joyful the reason is he want us to have joy, let me explan this to you when the children is happy to see dad that mean he love his dad alot. God want us to have joy to be in his preasense. God will displanes me becuase he love me heb 12:5-6 and he want me to listen to his displane. God want me to be innerse in sin becuase he is a pure God .

well God has really bless me thanks tim for you encouragement i need that .

going back to camen highland

well at fist i want to go to camen highland, after the few day i don't want to go to carmen highland the felling in pulling me and push me is like wanted to go don't wanted to go.
tuesday i went to help my mom,in the car my dad is saying that he trust my brother more then me it make me less important. well it did not hurt me fist, well i prentent that he did not say that the. second time he say that it really hurt me it like getting shoot from a gun.

i am angry i did not show that i am angry, i thought my emontion is in control that remind me about wat tim did with his mother in the car it kept reminding me. then question come up to me what do you thing tim should do? i say well tim should control his anger. the last day we all go to the mountain i claim up that mountian my dad wanted to take a picture with me outside it look like we have a close relationship but inside i wanted to push my dad away

when we all going back home to take my brother to go to diner, when my parents started talk to my brother. i fell like i being put into the box, i was felling sad and angry. after the dinner me and my brother going back home.
my dad going to take my sister, my sister read my sms. she got worry when my sister come back she ask me what are you doing with tim, i got so scarde because i don't want to tell my sister what happend i don't want them to judge me.
i pretend to be strong saying, we did nothing but deep down i am afriad. my sister asking again and again i kept on saying nothing she don't believe i got angry and say this is my business none of yours so left me alone.

she was so compassion saying this, you are my brother how can't i care about you? i don't want to talk about the problem, so i go to my room playing guitar. she kept on asking me and i kept on playing guitar. then my father jump in, and i got even more angry, so i rise my voice hopeping that they will stoping asking.
but my dad kept asking, and then i got more angry. my brother come to me, and asking wat wrong my sister told him what wrong. so i say to my dad, you are compare me with my brother.

my brother saying to me that no buddy is compare you, i got so angry and say yes. my brother say i was like we will believe you, i say we just want to play play. then everbody left the room, my father talk to me he say that if you become parents then you will understand.
then my mother wass understand my pain, she say that i love you all if you did not find job is ok you can help me and the hole thing start silent.

then God remind me the verse 1 cor 13 it kept on remind me love does not boast love don't need to prove youseft that you are worth enough. you don't need to prove everything you parent love just the way you are and God stated to heal me

huh i don't like study i like to encourage i got a felling that God is going to call me to became write huh What to do

what i have done to deserve all this pain
you have reason for all these lord
you want to remind me that
your love is sctheching out to me

A cool christian

1.having relationship with God

christian is not a religion is relationship with God,people always thing that when you become christian you have to be holy. See even though we may read the bible or go to church every sunday, that does mean we will have not sins.that is why people don't like to be christian, even though they are born in christain family, but still they denied their fatih. see become a christian is not doing your christian duty, is having relationship with God.

see i can understand God but not knowing him, read the bible is to understand what God like, knowing God is to have relationship with him. if you want to know that person, you won't ask people what is that person like you will talk to him so that you can know him better.
reading the bible is to understand he is a holy God he judge our sins. that is why when we sins we don't talk to God, david was the man after God own heart why? the reason is he have relationship with God he has the intermercy with God.

the bible say in 1 john 1:8-9 if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. if we confess our sins, God is faith and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteosness. we all have sins that why we need to have the grace of God, grace mean undeserve love. see we all are save by the grace not by workers (ep 2:8)

2.how can i know that Grace of God is abound in my life?
is to believe jesus raise from the dead and confrees he is lord and savior (romans 10:9), when i did that i am save by the grace of God. God does not die for my past sins, he die for all my sins.

that mean he die for your past and future sins,i want to share my testimoney i was not born in a christian family,i got save when i was 13. after i got save i still struggle with my sins. i really thank God that he does not give up on me, i almost give up but he did not. one day God spoke thought uncle ravi, he say that all my sins he has already forgive and he has give me enough grace to overcome all my sins satan put lie on me.

at that time my life begin to change, but i still have that desire, then one day God spoke to me in romans 6. all my sins he has put to dead, at that i say to God all my desire i lay down to you i surrender my life to you. at that time my life has change.

3.a tool to work in my life

to become cool christian is to surrender my life to God, and let the holyspirt work in my life. i may not know what God can do with my life, he can use me just like he use david and samuel.the bible is a tool for the holy spirit to work in my life, the bible stand for (basic instrution before live earth) my life will never be perfect, but i know that God can my life perfect.

lord i need your strenght and your refuse
i need help lord
pls

God i am very tried

i am you child lord
you love me jsut the way i am
you love is abide in my
you open your arm
to aceapt as you child
you cleans me with you love

i will go where you take me
i will run to your love

God teaching

last fell week God remind me about my childhoold days all the desipe all the pain and at the same time God is healing and make me humble.

well i told God that i can't i can't do it, God say to me i name you not can't i name you kent nothing that you can't do if you trust on my strenght you can do all thing.

greater pain
greater struggle
there is nothing i can't overcome
becuase jesus is the overcomer
i will overcome by the blood of the lamb

hmm God teach me to humble myself before God and before man well i don't like that lesson i ask God just take me away i don't like these traning well God did not stop teaching me yet He giving me more Well after few week my friend Show me a video i was so touch well it say that God displine those he love

i am you child lord
you acceapt me just the way i am
even i fail you many time
your grace are still abound
you love me just the way i am

you love me
you hole me
you lift me
into you arm

lord i am tried
of proof myselft
of the thing i can't do
i proof that i can do
lord i am tried people looking down on me
why people don't like me the way i am
why you give me this parents that does love me
why lord i am tried

it nice

well this week God remind me about his first love to me
i am so joyful praise God

well i miss all my childhood days
i miss all the fun
God say to me
is time to grow up
lord i need you strenght

i really don't care what i am going to do with my life
i just want to have fun
so let me alone

you hold my hand throught this storm of life
you guide me thought this darker time
show me the way lord
you love me just the way i am
when i call upon you name
you are there for me

i need is you lord
more than i can image
i need you lord
more than i can think of

lord is hard for me why you give me this family
why am i here lord
is so tried
i need help
i need refuse
just give em long sleep
i don't want to wake up

desert

in the desert i am thrist for love
i am looking touch
i am calling to you name
and here you come
you say that you love me
you fill me with your love
i found the love i was looking for

the love i looking for
is you love
you pour you love like a river that never dry out
people love may dry out
your love will never dry out

i love you
i need you
come close to me lord
as i call on you name

all those who love me why lord you have to take away
why
lord i just don't understand i fell loney
i need a long rest

lord i want to get rid of lonelyness
help me lord

hmm today pastor has talk to me alot of thing she is talking about what i am going to do with my life? and she say that is not my parents problem is mine. my parent is worry about me and she is consence about me ? when is start to hear that i fell very painful, the holy spirit say to me i am not open my heart to my parent. i cry to God.

lord i what the point overcoming temptation
what the point going to struggle where my faith is losing
i don't understand

lord what the point of struggle to overcome i am tried
i need you lord i just can't

lord i just don't understand you way i will put my trust in you
lord i need you more than gold
lord i just have to ask you to give me strenght

well Good news well today i fell happy becuase yesterday the lord fill me with his spirit and i fill with joy and after that i start to read is 49:13 i started to fell the love of God

blame

lord why ????

why???

i need answer

why you give me this broken family

why lord why i can’t see any thing beautiful

why it seem hurt fuul

i try to do my best

but everybody seem blame me for all the wrong thing

why

i hate this life i wanted to have sex i don’t care stupdi

lonelyness

well we are in the world of lonelyness every body have friend in school but after school they fell lonely there is nobody to talk to they may have Good friendship in school but after school they will break up becuase everybody have to diffrented part to go.

some people don't like to talk this life alone, well that what i fell sometime i wanted to have friend relaship with other there is some want to Can't walk with you 24 hour he name is jesus he will never leave you or forsake you

lord sometime i does fell lonely lord i don’t know who i can espress this feeling i need a gf lord pls give me the right want

lord i need thee every hour
every min every second i need you oh lord
guide me as i surrender my live to you
help me to the time of trouble
when i call upon you i know you will hear me

love

today i go with pastor to shopping center while pastor want to buy a shoe and then i saw the kids shoe i remind me my childhood day how i miss it i miss my childhood day is hard to become grow up i am 20 this year don’t know what i will do next i don’t even have a job and God tell me to try different door i don’t know which door to take lord i need you oh lord where are you when the time of trouble where is your love some time i don’t fell that you love me you say you love me why does you open door for me to work why?????

lord sometime i am fell i am all alone and broken don’t know what to do is hard and some time i wanted to go back my own way lord help me

as i walk in though this storm of life

you’re here with me holding me with you arm

you walk me thought this storm of life

you say that everything will be alright

i lying down my brokenness

i lying down my life for you lord

i will live for you my lord

cause all i need is you lord 

i living in this broken life

i living in this life with out love

and some time i fell that all alone 

you open you arm with loving heart

you come to my life and toke my emptiness

and fill me with your love 

i will walk with you thought this storm of life

when i ever i see muslim kids i thing about the past how i have sex with my muslim friends

sometime i feel that is better to have no parent becuase my parent they kept on rejecthing me it feell tried why God aloud give me this parent they borken my heart they kept on telling me i not good it really triends

hmmm Happy Easter everybody i pray that you all have a nice Easter well today God spoke to me in ge 4 able and cain God told me that don't compare to every want after that i fell like be alone thanks to the no good bb they all disturb me so i wanted to talk tim uncle ravi but they all are busy and i go to the mother room and play guitar and i start to sin wad i fell and God heal me

prayer like eagle

well i being praying and asking God for break though, and i ask God Why does God give me the answers why ?

God remind me about the eagle a baby eagle learn to fly the mother eagle have to push the baby eagle to fly, God aloud us go thought struggle because God want to strength us to teach us to grow.

alot of time start to complain why God, God you say you will give me all thing Good but why God you aloud bad thing to happen to me. God can change bad into Good.

well peter ask Jesus why these man born blind, Jesus answer so that the glory of God may be reveled. well God aloud bad thing to come so that he can be glorified, well when we ask God why the answer is will you trust me, 1 thes 5:18 give thanks in all circumcise for this is God will for you in Christ Jesus. will we not ask God why will we give thank because God want to strength us

hmm.... my faith have been test my struggle just getting me tried and i start to ask God why
why God does aloud my strenght to be gone God started to answer when i here this men messenge he also ask God why does not give him arm and leg the answer is will you trust me

and i fell that God say that some time when we ask God why God answer is will you trust me

bring me back to your love

i am broken lord

i have fail you thousand time

i want to come to you

sometime don’t think i am worth

yet you call me to come

you draw me by you grace

and you call me by you love

you hole me with you arm

i only can say

bring me back to you love

you love me just the way i am lord

at the cross you die for my sins

you fully gave you life only for me

you toke my empty cup and fill me with you love

you fill me with you love

lord i just don't understand i fell fear worriey lord i don't know which way to go i wanted to end my life



darn fucking world

oh lord many people have rejected me

may people have broken my heart

deep down in my heart i look for love

i search for some want to love me

and there you show me that person

that person is you oh lord

you love me the way i am

you hole me into you arm daily

you will never forgot about me

lord is so hard and tried
i don't know what is going to happend in my life
is getting hard and struggle
lord i need help

failure into succeed

how can i turn failure into succeed, well all my life is a failure and i can’t suceed anything.

i tried to overcome temptation every time i tried i just fall i get back up again and i fail again. i wanted to give up holy spirit Spoke to me if you don’t tried you best God can’t help you. i ask holy spirit i have tried my best i don’t have strength. God asking me this where does you strength come from Where does you hope come from? i give me a thought the reason i don’t have strength it because i kept on dwell in my failure. i ask God why does he aloud me to gone to my failure again and again. God give me these version a baby eagle can’t learn to fly yet until the mother eagle push him the mother will not let the baby bird fall down. some time i need God to push me to go thought struggle and hard time so that i can learn to fly so that i can learn to overcome my struggle and hard time and my failure.

God aloud struggle and hard time to come, so that i can trust God more. pro 3:5

is 41:31 those who trust in the lord shall renew their strength they will soar up on wing of eagle they will run and not get weary they will walk and not faint

Going to hard time

well this week and last week i feel depress and very tried God ask me this question Kent where is you strength come from where is your hope come from. i fell peace when God spoke to me well sometime when i go to hard time i just have to put my trust in God

pro 3:5-6

lord i need your strength to overcome temptation help me lord help me help me

i will turn back to you my heart will kept on follow you

just now i when in prayer and ask God why does he aloud temptation to come into my life the holy spirit spoke to me don't ask God why ask God how can i encourage other with this struggle 1 petter 5:9

some time when we go thought struggle after a while God will give us streght and make us strong amen

i wanted to give up i am tried of resisting
tried tried tried
not strenght left
tried

Loving is a blessing

in this world a lot of young people, asking this question where is the love. because all they have is family problem. Where is the love. so inside they’re heart is looking for love so they buy phone computer eat kk or smoking and so on.

All these thing can’t bring  the desire, it can only only a few minutes or day. nothing in this world can bring you satisfy only your parents and God love.

i want was like that my father and mother don’t like me, in my mind i was thing like that i search for love but none can give me the full desire. in the year of 2007 God show me his love thought camp. i was fulfill. and God say to me the only your parents love you more every of my struggle God has remove

tried

working working now time lord please give me strength,today when i came back from work well i am tried i was think to quiek my job i don’t know what is the reason.

and then i talk to my dad my dad use his loud voice, so i clam down and pray and i fell that i should kept going and i thank God for teaching me how to clam down.

well God has been blessing with his lord and his power has transform my life i am really bless

Chinese new year

Happy Chinese year everybody, last week is Chinese new year the first day of the Chinese new year i went to my uncle house to have dinner well i am very enjoy the food.

after that i go and talk to my cousin, she is in us i miss her lot. so we have a nice followership.

next day i went to my uncle and aunt house, well i got a lot of ang pow well i wanted to but pep or Nintendo well i don’t have enough money.

well after a while my spirit say that God is all i need indeed he is all i need

why am i still struggle when i don't want to be gay
why am i still thinking that i am gay
is so tried

i hate this world

a people need water
my people need my spirit
but what about the people
who don't know my grace
who going to tell them

??????

you're my strenght

you're my strenght
strenght like no other
strenght like no other
reach out to me

you're my hope
hope like no other
hope like no other
reach out to me

give up

why am i so easy give up
i am tried
and don't know where to go
and i need more of streaght from the lord

life is so hard???????

overcomming

some time is hard to over come the struggle in life, well i was discourage and hard time overcomming temptation. i always seek where is my weakness well God just told me that i need to look into his strenght and his love when ever i look at my circumstand i can get discourage and when i am discourage God told me these look to me nothing is too hard for God

other website

my other website is youth-on-fire-for-god.webs.com
check it out

Climb up mountian

These are the story that God show it to me.


Once there was a boy,God held the boy hand and walking with the boy.And the boy saw a mountain that is too tall, God say to the boy pull the belt and climb up.The boy pull on the belt and say God you pull me up,God say you have to climb up by you self.
God ask the boy to climb up so many time the boy still refuse, and finnaly the boy say yes. so the boy climb up the mountian and he hand was very pain , and after a while the boy give up God say to the boy don't give up. So the boy claim up,after a while the boy fall ,so the boy call God help help there was not want to answer.

so the boy was thinking does God left me, if God is with me he will never let me climb this mountain alone.so the boy let go his belt,and God hole his hand and say Don't give up i am here with you.The boy ask if you are with me why you aloud me to climb this mountian alone.

God say to the boy i will never let you claim these mountian alone,the monent you call me i was there i love you and i have a place to show you.the boy ask show me,God show him the rope that tie around the boy belt.

God ask him do you want to claim these mountain with me ,the boy say yes so the boy climb the mountain.When the boy got to the mountain top he saw beatiful place,God say let's got down.The boy was very afraid and say no,God say don't be afraid i go down fist and i will pull you down.So God got down the mountain and say to the boy come down,the boy reply no is to high.God say don't be afraid i will pull you down you will never get hurt, so the boy climb down.
And God show him the river, and God said to that boy i love you like these river.

many of time we walk with God, and went we go throught the struggle we fel that God is not with us. We ask God for help, God did not answer do you know that when you call to God he is with you. He love you like the river that will never dried out,God love is bigger then our struggle our problem he is bigger that you can't image.

last year I was so struggle, i fel alone and i fel that God is not with me. I pray so hard and God did not answer me i wanted to give up my faith. After week month God spoke to me and show me alot of thing.

God ask me to focus him i don't want to, instead i just look the think of these world. if that boy focus that mountian, he will never claim up but if he focus on
God he will climb that mountain. just like us, if we focus our struggle we can't see what God have for us if we look on to God we can see might thing that God have for us.

Don't look that mountian look to God.

no river is to hight, not mountain is too tall for the love of God.

deep heart pain

well today God spoke to me this way the reason why my father act these way it because the way i act. the reason you don't want to talk to uncle david it because i have hate with you father in your heart, God remind me this the reason you can't get you blessing it because you don't forgive you father.

huh,well been asking God take me away , God say to me not you stay where you are i want to use you to heal you family.

all i can say is let God will be done.

the joy of my life

hmm. the joy of my life is to know that God is in control all thing
when some time my life it seem nothing is in control
but every thing is in God hand
my blessing my life
all that i have is in God hand

Praise be to our God

All i need is you

Lord you have show me in this life there is struggle
when i am struggle i can look to you
i can look through your love
you love i satifly all my desire
i thankful for be with me
through my struggle.

lord you show me all i need is you
all i need is you
father i ask that you will draw me close to you

last year i when to getting highland with family and cousin, when i saw my sister and my cousin climb up the rock i wanted to climb up. At fist i don't know what i am doing my mind on thing to climb up.
before i climb up the rock i need to put the belt.becuase it will kept me save, i climb up the rock. At fist it was easy and then it was hard because my hand was pain, and then i wanted to let go i was afraid because of the high.

My sister and my cousin ask me to let go let go i don't want too, well i pray to God i ask god that will give me a verse. And god give me this verse in romans 8:37 we are more counqerse thought christ who love me finnaly i let go of my hand.

things i learn
i life there is alot of struggle and hard time i need to put on the belt and clim up
belt represent faith. i need to have faith everyday and everytime even during hard time.the Holy spirit spoke to me he say that i need to put on the belt and i need to climb up when i climb up to the top i can see many beatiful thing .

jeremiah 3:33 call unto me and i will show you great and unsearchble thing that you do not know .

new year

well last year i was so struggle, i don't know were to go and so struggle to get out of temptation.Well God is faitful to me well i pray and God answer me well there is alot of thing that God show me one thing that God show me is to have faith.

well last year yldp was so bless to me, God give me alot of thing. God encourage to go throught struggle and the holy spirit spoke to me that i need to pray alot and need to have faith.

well i hope this year God will bless me and encourage me to do thing that is best for me.